Archive for October, 2009

Ooooooooooh, God.

That was a massive sigh, by the way. I’ve got an event coming up that I’d like you all to come to. If you like. But it’s on Tuesday 13th of October. That’s this Tuesday, viewers! If you are reading it before this Tuesday, anyway. Otherwise it was last Tuesday. Or today. Or… hang on, this is giving me a nosebleed. I know how Marty McFly felt now.

Anyway, the event is that I’m showing two films at The Sunflower Lounge on Smallbrook Queensway in Birmingham City Centre. So come along and you can watch The Life Acquatic With Steve Zisou and Jaws. Two films that aren’t about what you think they are. There will be a comprehension exercise afterwards.

I would like to insist that everyone who attends orders seafood pizza to get right into the spirit of things.

It’s free and there is fuck all else to do on Tuesday. And YOU’RE not doing anything, anyway. It’s not as if you’ve got any fucking plans, is it?

Welcome back to what appears to be the most popular section of the blog website, which in the interests of full disclosure I must again admit to not inventing, but stealing the entire concept from Peacock And Gamble (who you should really check out if you haven’t already. Tell them I sent you… not that they know me.).

This week, Ugg Boots.

Ugg boots are not flattering. Not to anyone. Not at all. I don’t care who you are or what you look like, or even if you are Japanese (of which more, and later) who seem to be the principle offenders. Please realise, they are furry wellies and do not even function like wellies. Try wearing them in the rain. That’s two hundred quid down the fucking drain.

So to recap, if you want to look like you are hiding hideously malformed feet the knock yourself out, spend two hundred quid on them. Otherwise buy something else. Anything.

Some arsehole in Ugg boots, yesterday

Incidentally, I don’t know that shitstain in the photo, it was stolen from off of the internets. If it’s you, fuck you you cunt, you shouldn’t have posted a photo of yourself looking like a cunt for the world to see. Whoever you are, if you wear Ugg boots, you look like this twat.

Be seeing you…